More Thoughts on Pregnancy

I know, I know, all I ever post about these days is pregnancy-related. But what can I say--it's the ruling force in my life right now.

This week, for the first time, I am really, really excited for Ryan to get here. I have been so consumed with other feelings--nausea, worry, anxiety, fear (mostly of the pain of labor), etc. that I just haven't been super excited. There have been moments, like every time I get to hear his heartbeat or see him moving around during an ultrasound, but it hasn't been an overwhelming excitement like it is now.

I think a lot of it is that I'm realizing that I have more control over the changes coming in my life than I previously thought. No, I won't be able to determine his disposition, but my attitude will definitely influence that. I might not be able to have the house perfectly cleaned, the laundry done and dinner on the table at 6:00 p.m. every single day, but that's OK. I think there is so much societal pressure to be a "good Mom" (whatever that is) and if you focus on that, you'll miss a lot. I don't want to wake up one day with a grown up son wondering where the time went and regretting all the time I spent scrubbing floors instead of playing with him at the park or reading him books or whatever.

I guess I'm starting to become a little more realistic about the things that are coming my way. And in all reality, I wouldn't change a thing. I realize that in this day and age a lot of people can't stay home with their kids. I feel so blessed that I can.