Harrowing Mommy Moments

Today I experienced a kind of panic that I never before knew existed. It started out simply enough--at lunch time I gave Ryan a peanut butter sandwich. He is not a big meat eater and I'm trying to incorporate more protein in his diet, so I thought we'd give peanut butter a try. Now I am completely aware of the stories that exist about crazy peanut allergies, but no one in Bryan's or my family have these kind of allergies, so I thought it would be fine.

About 10 minutes after he finished his sandwich, he became completely inconsolable. He's had a bit of an allergy/cold thing going on so I figured he was just not feeling well. I tried to get him to cuddle up with me so he could take a nap, but he wouldn't have it. He would lay on the floor and then want me to pick him up. After about 10 minutes of this, the poor kid threw up everywhere--all over himself, me and the couch. My first thought was, "Oh, he's got the stomach flu, no wonder he's so fussy."

I took him into the bathroom to remove the offending clothing and as I sat him on the counter to take off his diaper, I noticed that his face was completely covered in a red polka-dotted rash, and all around his eyes was bright red. I grabbed the phone to call the doctor as I put him in the tub, and the doctor said to give him Benedryl and he should be OK. So I did that, but as he sat in the tub I watched the rash quickly begin to spread down to his neck and shoulders and his chest and back. Because of the allergy/cold thing, he's been congested and I could hear his breathing so I was freaking out trying to make sure he was breathing normally. I called the doctor back and they asked if we could get there in 10 minutes, which we did.

Once we got there the doctor looked him over and confirmed that he was definitely having an allergic reaction. Ryan was given a steroid shot to stop any additional inflamation that could be caused, and we have some additional steriods to give him over the next couple of days. Bryan is taking him in to the lab in the morning so they can do some tests to confirm that he does in fact have a peanut allergy.

Let me tell you that sitting there and watching my sweet baby Ryan experience this reaction was absolutely heartwrenching. He is fine, and I could not be more grateful about that. But it scared me, and it made me realize just how much I love and adore this baby. I absolutely don't know what I would do if anything ever happened to him. He is truly my world. He is what changed Bryan and I from a couple to a family. He is my angel.

After this whole experience, it occured to me how lucky we are. We have access to, and can afford, good health insurance. We have a fantastic family doctor. We have an excellent new hospital within 3 minutes of our house. I know not everyone has these things. I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to have a sick child and be afraid to get them medical attention because of fear of the medical bills. My heart truly aches for parents who have to make those choices.

Take a minute today to hold your babies close and thank Heavenly Father for every moment you have with them. They are truly a gift.